Do not strive for the perfect relationship - You might end up lonely

Some singles have very high demands when it comes to finding a partner. They usually have very high demands for themselves as well. But having very high demands combined with a strong belief that you know exactly what you want is often the reason why it is so difficult for some singles to find the right partner.

If you are one of those people who have a long checklist of requirements for a new partner then this article is for you. 

You might have a perfect job, a perfect education a perfect home but you are still single because you haven't found the perfect man or woman to share your life with. As striving for perfection is a great quality in many aspects of life it can certainly be a showstopper when it comes to finding a partner.

But how do you ease up on your need for perfection? It is not easy because you need for perfection is a deep-rooted need. Ilene Strauss Cohen PhD has an excellent article in Psychology Today on how to let go of the need to be perfect.

The perfect relationship doesn't exist

Have you ever asked yourself: "What is the perfect relationship"? Is that a relationship where you never argue? Where you also look like a happy couple? Where you have the same values on everything? Where you have the same taste? The same aspirations and dreams?

Think for a second how boring such a relationship would be? The good news is it doesn't exist, for the simple reason that the human mind is far too complex and unstable to have a perfect match over a longer period of time. We change all the time independently of other people - even people very close to us.

Realising that we change all the time doesn't mean you should start a relationship with the first and the best. But when it comes to forming relationships there are no guarantees. That fact refrains many from even trying because the risk of "failure" is too big. But hey, It is not a failure. Like in many other aspects of life you either succeed or you learn. 

Try to break your own pattern for identifying and selecting potential dates. Maybe your criteria are all wrong. We have heard many stories from our members who have found partners they would never have looked for. But because The Educated Singles Club lets you connect on many different levels and in your own pace there is an opportunity to get to know people for another reason than dating. When you for instance start by developing an intellectual attraction and admiration the emotional attraction can easily grow from that.

Try to mobilise your curiosity

In order to ease up on both your explicit and implicit criteria try to become more curious than judgmental. Socrates said, "Wise is the man who knows he knows nothing". So try to be wise.

There is nothing more attractive than another person who can lead you outside your own comfort zone. But it all starts with you!